


Intact

by aishahiwatari



Series: Trektober 2019 [5]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dirty Talk, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Prostate Massage, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 05:43:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20902574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishahiwatari/pseuds/aishahiwatari
Summary: So much of this is psychological for Bones, who is terrified of the fact that he loves to feel open and exposed, that he trusts Jim to see him this way. His anxiety gets the better of him so often, but Jim knows how that feels and he’s sure he can drown it out.(for day 5 of Trektober 2019, prompt: Coming Untouched)





	Intact

“So- you’ve really never?”

“Never.”

“And- you’re okay with that?”

“I have miraculously survived this long without it, I think I can just about manage to scrape by.”

Jim rolls his eyes. He’s pretty sure Bones is being overly defensive, but it’s difficult to tell with him. He kind of operates on a different scale of behaviour to most people, like his gauge goes up to twelve instead of ten. He just feels and expresses so much.

And right now, what he’s expressing is a lack of interest in something Jim loves.

“Would you let me try, though?” he asks, with imploring eyes and a winning smile, a combination that never fails to make Bones supremely suspicious.

“It’s not as easy as they make it look in porn, you know.”

“Bones! I am offended that firstly you think I’ve never been in porn, and also that you think I don’t know that! I know what I’m doing. You might have your magic hands -and believe me, I am not doubting that. They’re awesome and I appreciate everything they have ever done for me- but I’m good at this.”

“I still don’t think you’ve been in porn.”

“Okay, technically it was just an amateur production, but everyone had a great time-“

“You know they’re paid to say that, right?”

“Bones! Why are you being weird about this? I’m offering you orgasms. I don’t see the problem.”

“It’s- a lot of effort, Jim. And what we do right now is fine-”

“Fine?”

“You know what I mean. We have great sex.” 

“And I wanna blow your mind.”

“You already do.” Bones does reach for him, then, finally sets his padd aside and draws Jim into his lap, sets strong hands on his waist and meets his eyes. Jim drapes his arms over Bones’ shoulders and waits. “It’s like nothing else I’ve ever had, with you. You’re amazing. And we fit together so well.”

He leans up for a kiss, and for a moment Jim loses himself in it, allows himself to be drawn in by the press of lips, the soft, sweet slide of tongues, Bones’ body solid beneath his, the hands finding their way beneath his shirt to touch him.

Except- “Hey!” he realises suddenly. “You’re distracting me with sex. That’s my thing. Can’t believe you’re trying it on me. Can’t believe it nearly worked.”

He’s not happy with himself for not seeing it sooner, but Bones has always been able to reach beneath his guard, battered his way through it long ago and settled behind it and made a place for himself there.

Jim likes to think he’s done the same in return, though, thumbs at Bones’ cheekbones and sees the defeat in his eyes. “What’s going on, here, really?”

“I don’t think I can.”

That- doesn’t seem like quite the whole story, to Jim. “Someone tried, before. Didn’t they?”

The gorgeous, defensive, strong man in his arms is so fragile that Jim’s heart just aches to think about it, sometimes. He nods, won’t lift his gaze above Jim’s chest, pulls him in a little closer. “A few times. It’s never worked.”

“Well- not to disparage your romantic choices or anything, but fuck them. They weren’t me. Did it not work, or did they give up?”

The shift in Bones’ set jaw tells him he’s right with that last one.

“Are they also the one who decided that maybe you just couldn’t do it?”

Bones shrinks in on himself a little then, and Jim rubs the back of his neck, toys with the short hairs there, just loves him so much he feels like his heart will burst sometimes. “I won’t give up. I know how to do it. I’ll go for hours, if that’s what it takes. I won’t let you down.” He touches Bones’ chin then, too, meets the sad, hurt hazel eyes beneath the scowl. “If you want. I won’t force you.”

He’s not immediately refused. That’s a start. It can be as good as a yes, with Bones, who finds it so difficult to admit what he wants, sometimes, but Jim is not going to assume. Instead, he leans in, presses a kiss to the sensitive spot behind Bones’ ear, hears him huff out a soft breath in a sigh. “I don’t even care if we get there. I just want to try. Want to have my fingers inside you, and toys, and then my cock, and I promise that whatever happens, you’ll love it.”

Bones clutches him tight, and Jim holds him in return, brushes his lips against soft skin, memorises the taste and feel and smell of him, the best thing that’s ever happened to Jim. “Can I keep talking?”

Bones nods, with a little affirmative grunt, and Jim smiles against his throat. “I want to spread you out beneath me, on the bed, and massage your back, your shoulders, your legs until you’re relaxed and ready for me. I’ll make you wait, before we start. A week, maybe two, so every single touch feels like it’s electrically charged. And then I’ll open you up with my fingers, and then I’ll push something that vibrates inside of you and work you ‘til you feel like you can’t stand it anymore. By the time I get my cock in you, you’ll feel like there isn’t a thing you can do except come without a single touch to yours. How’s that sound?”

“Two weeks?” Jim can practically hear the pout in Bones’ voice, but there’s a sort of shivery edge, too, like he wants it despite all that. It’s not exactly going to be a walk in the park for Jim, going without alongside him, but the wait will be worth the reward.

“You know the biology. Your prostate’ll be so swollen and sensitive. And don’t think I don’t know that it is already. You get so sweet and desperate when I fuck you, and I love it. We’ve just got to amp you up so high you won’t even be able to think about the possibility of not coming from it. It might not take that long.”

It takes ten days. Ten days before Bones throws him down on their bed and snarls, “If you don’t fuck me right now I’m going to tie you down and make you watch me do it myself.”

Well, those are both excellent options, but one can wait more than the other. “You wanna come on my cock, Bones?”

Bones shudders, his eyes dark and intense, and he strips off his uniform shirt with both grace and efficiency before starting on his pants.

Jim scrambles to do the same, had planned to take the edge off before making the attempt, because this is not about him and he wants to last, but this is not the time to take a break. Whether Bones follows through on his threat or not, Jim doesn’t want to risk losing this chance.

He does as he promised, first, once he has Bones naked, worships that glorious body with his hands, fingertips urging tense muscles into relaxing, palms smoothing over defined shoulders, the lines of muscle in his back. Only when Bones is breathing harshly, visibly holding back the urge to rut against the sheets does Jim tell him to roll over, sliding a pillow under his hips to tilt them and allow for a frankly outrageously magnificent view. And then he massages thick, solid thighs, gradually easing them apart.

Bones is gorgeous, so uncharacteristically unrestrained by the time Jim’s generously slicking up his fingers, his breath hitching as Jim slides one of them into him, and then a second, working him open, watching his fists clench in the sheets as he pants.

“Come anytime you want, Bones. Don’t wait on me.” Jim says, gently, with his softest smile for Bones’ overwhelmed expression, his darkened eyes, unfocused and blinking slowly. And then he begins to rub, arrhythmic and unpredictable, against Bones’ swollen prostate. He starts lightly, because despite Bones’ personal hang-ups he is beautifully sensitive, clenching like a vice around Jim’s fingers at the first hint of sensation and then gradually loosening.

He makes sweet, keening sounds every now and then, when he allows himself to, but he keeps catching himself when his thoughts threaten to creep back in. Jim’s knelt between his legs, lifts one of Bones’ knees to bend his leg and press a kiss there before he urges it down and out, so he’s spread wide. So much of this is psychological for Bones, who is terrified of the fact that he loves to feel open and exposed, that he trusts Jim to see him this way. His anxiety gets the better of him so often, but Jim knows how that feels and he’s sure he can drown it out.

“Stay right there,” he says, when he has to retrieve the vibrator he bought exactly for this purpose. This is for Bones, and Jim’s aware he has a history and it can make people feel certain ways. He doesn’t want to taint this with memories and comparisons. He cracks open the packaging he tosses aside, disinfects the toy and wipes it off, and then takes the insertable part in his mouth, both to lubricate it and make Bones roll his eyes, even vague as he is.

It’s slim at the base, although it tapers so that there’s more surface area to reach where he needs it, and it’s kind of T-shaped. Jim’s knowledge of human biology is limited, but he knows that the curves stimulate the prostate from the outside through the perineum, and there’s a pressure point under the tailbone, too.

There’s a huge part of him that wants to make Bones cry as he comes multiple times, but he thinks that might be too much for now.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says instead, with a soothing hand on Bones’ hip as he reaches lower with the other, positioning the toy at the lingering resistance of his entrance, rubbing gently. “And I love you so much.”

Bones’ breath hitches as it slides right in, settling into place easily. It’s not long, just a few inches, curved to get the tip exactly where it needs to be and although Jim hasn’t tried this one before, he’s used some like it, presses it in with his thumb and circles it until Bones groans. He arches, tensing, instinctively seeking more, and when it gets too much he melts into the sheets and just lets Jim work.

Jim holds the remote in his other hand, and he starts the vibrations low at first. Bones pants, and then he keens, and then he sobs, frustrated and Jim needs to lean over to kiss him, careful not to touch his hard, red cock as it drips onto his belly. He has to let the toy go, but it’s still right where it’s supposed to be, designed that way. Distantly, he’s aware that he must be hard, too, himself. He’s enjoying this too much not to be, but nothing matters here except Bones, except making sure he’s alright, that he’s happy to continue. Jim will jerk him off, swallow him down until he comes, and it’ll be so much more intense than usual after all the work he’s put in, but he thinks they can both make it through a little more.

“No rush, baby. I swear I won’t stop unless you ask,” Jim’s never had to murmur soft reassurances to any of his sexual partners before, and it doesn’t come easily to him, but he does his best. “You look so good. I could do this for hours. Whoever did this with you before made a mistake, Bones. You were made for this.”

For a moment he thinks he might have gone too far. Bones squeezes his eyes shut and tears leak from them, and Jim’s still not let up. He has to trust Bones to tell him if he needs to stop, but until then, there’s no way he’ll risk it. Not with Bones relaxed and trembling, the muscles of his stomach twitching tellingly, his cock purpling and leaking, the clenching of his hole that pulls the toy just a little further inside him, presses a little harder against his sensitive insides.

Flushed and shining with sweat and with his chest heaving, he’s the most beautiful thing Jim’s ever seen. He sets a hand on Bones’ sternum, feels his heart racing, and with his other he turns the vibration up. Bones gasps and sobs, his whole body convulsing, ripples running through him. His legs are shaking and he’s forgotten to stop them and Jim will never ask the universe for a single thing again if he can keep this, if he can have it whenever they need it, if Bones can stay his.

He kisses the tear tracks away, though, murmurs in Bones ear, “Colour?” because he won’t take that chance, won’t risk damaging him like whoever came before.

“Green, fuck, Jim please don’t stop-”

“Never,” Jim agrees, baring his teeth because Bones is his, now and he’s going to overwrite everything, is going to make him feel things he’d never imagined he could. “Breathe, Bones. I’ve got you. Just trust me. It’s going to feel so good, like nothing else, but you need to trust me.”

He sees the moment Bones gives himself over, sags against the bed and groans because he has no reason not to, because he knows Jim loves every single sound he makes and then pushes him for more. He takes every single increase in vibration with nothing but the whining noises he’s making on almost every exhale and although he lifts his hands from the sheets it’s only to lift them and clench his fists again in the pillow beneath his head, to open himself up further to whatever Jim needs.

Fuck, yes, Jim is hard, is panting and breathless himself, his mouth watering with the urge to lick Bones’ stomach clean, to taste him. He doesn’t know how much longer he can wait, feels like he needs nothing but the sight beneath him, the smell of sex, the sweet little sounds Bones makes when he forgets he’s self-conscious.

He can tell when Bones is close, when the trembling redoubles and his breathing is harsh and loud, and the clutch of his ass muscles almost wrests control of the toy from Jim. He wants to pull it out and replace it with his cock but if he upsets Bones’ rhythm he’ll never forgive himself, just presses harder with his fingers and tells him he’s good and gorgeous and beautiful until he comes, cock untouched, shooting thick spurts of milky white over his chest with a deep, shuddering groan, nearly tearing the pillow in half with the strength he finds in the moment.

It’s a long, sweet ride, watching him, working him through it, seeing him shudder and shiver and yet never flinch away from more, only driven higher, rolling his hips to seek more, lost in the pleasure without a thought for anything else. He’s perfect.

Tears fall when he comes again with a lost, keening sound, and Jim eases up a little to soften the intensity of it, watches come paint tanned skin in lines and then spurts tapering off to weak dribbles, all he has left in him. Jim releases the toy, lets the lessening vibrations coax Bones gently down, feels lidded eyes on him as he wraps a hand around himself and tips forward, propping himself up with a hand beside Bones’ head to add his own release to the mess, combining the two of them, wishing he could store this memory in all its visceral intensity forever.

He’s still in control, though, has to be, switches the toy off and eases it out and laps at the head of Bones cock, makes him groan and shiver weakly before swallowing him down.

Bones comes dry, this time, just the faintest ripples through his exhausted body and a satisfied sigh giving him away, his cock finally softening on Jim’s tongue as he hisses with the oversensitivity.

Jim allows himself to feel a little smug while he curls up beside him, draws patterns in the copious mess on Bones’ chest until Bones finds the strength to groan in disgust and push his hand away.

Then he cleans them both up with loving wipes of a warm, damp cloth, pulls the blankets over them and lets himself fall asleep to the rhythm of Bones’ breathing and a soft confirmation that he, too, is beautiful and loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m also on [Tumblr](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/)


End file.
